Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Reflections on Lent

Once again, Lent did not go as planned for me. I started out strong but between influenza and vacation and life in general, I didn't complete the list. I didn't post all the days. I fell way, WAY short on my end of the deal.

However, as I said last year, this doesn't amount to total failure. I still tried to focus on being kind and loving. I still consciously used this time to evaluate where I am and where I want to go and what I want to improve within myself. It still meant something.

This year, it meant finding my voice. This Lent was a season of solidifying my beliefs in a spiritual, political and ideological sense. It made me think about the kind of woman I want to be as my son grows up, quietly (and perhaps not so quietly) watching and judging me through the years.

A kind woman
A loving woman
An intelligent woman
A strong woman
A brave woman
A fun woman
An adventurous woman
A nurturing woman
An ever-growing woman
A Godly woman

I want to be the kind of woman that raises a good man. I want to be the kind of mother that has earned the respect of her family. I want, more than anything, to be the kind of person my son will be proud of. I want him to grow up and be unashamed to say "That is my mother." 

(You know, when I'm not totally embarrassing him on purpose.)
Seriously, Mom...the internet is forever, you know.

It will be a long uphill battle. It will take time and patience. It will involve more exploration of myself. It is a journey that will never be completed.

But it will be worth it.

Lucas is worth it.

I am worth it.

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