Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Reflection


The trinity is one concept of the Christian faith that has always been difficult for me to wrap my head around. God is three, and yet He is one. It's okay in a murky don't-think-about-it-too-hard sense, but then Jesus comes into the picture and has full on conversations with God the Father and they seem like two concrete and different people. The Holy Spirit is sort of there but not really because He is so amorphous and ghostly, and no one knows how to portray Him in paintings.

Then people use the vengeful version of God the Father for their own purposes and other folks use the sagely Jesus to serve their purposes and everyone thinks the Holy Spirit is there compelling them. Sigh.

But maybe, just maybe, it's not supposed to be about politics; about being right or wrong. Maybe it's about being human. Maybe the trinity is a lot simpler than I thought. I think I'm finally coming to terms with what the trinity means for me. I think I'm starting to get it.

I see it differently now. I feel like when the light hits my life just right, I can see God clearly. When I see the trinity in these fleeting moments, I see a reflection of myself, because God has created us in His image. I see myself at a crossroads as separate forces of my being pull me in different directions, show me different things.

I see God the Father in my role as a mother. I see myself pleased with the power of creation within my being. I see the frustration and goodness and love and fear and humility of being placed in this position. (And perhaps it is not being a parent for you. Perhaps it is your work or helping a cause that is near to your heart. The vantage point is overlooking whatever makes you feel accomplished and whole. It is wherever we feel powerful and humble and alive all at once.) It is hard but always worth it, because I am always in love. The truest love. The kind of love I like to think God feels for us.

I see Jesus in the face of my peers, in the deepest and best parts of my heart. He is one of us, the God that walked among us and understood us in a way we didn't think God could. He opened the door for love, for progress, for fulfilling the desire to live out a more connected human experience. He is the friend, the brother, the soul mate for our kinder parts. He is a love that we know from loving one another. He is the love we understand.

And the Holy Spirit? He is the love we don't understand. He is that indescribable feeling; the crescendo of emotion which weaves in and out of our hearts. He is humanity which knows no bounds. He is the compassion that we feel for strangers. He is the great love that fills our bodies to the brink of bursting. He is that quiet moment in the midst of our suffering where we feel reprieve. He is the mystery that makes life so beautiful.

And when I stand here and look at myself I see it all. I am the mother and child. I am the friend, the sister, the soul mate. I am a vessel for the great mysterious love that the world holds. I am a reflection of God, a small but beautiful version of the Holy Trinity.

At least that's how I'd like to see it.
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